The mostly-vegetarian in me is pacing wary mental circles around the brats and chicken I got in preparation for having friends over this weekend. I was going to parboil the brats in beer and then I learn that actual boiling is to be avoided because the brat casings will split and all your friends will get e. coli and you will no longer have friends because they are dead or hate you because you gave them e. coli. Have I ever mentioned my habit of forgetting about things halfway through cooking them? Yeah, that water is going to boil.

Theoretically the chicken will be easy. Soak in marinade. Cook until cooked.

Part of the reason I stopped eating meat was because I was too lazy to cook it in delicious ways. And also to save the world.