The inside scoop on state government

I was on the floor of the Wisconsin State Assembly for about an hour yesterday for a 10-minute ceremony honoring a man whose death was a big loss to Baraboo. Which was lovely, but I should not have worn the shoes I did.

Of the Assembly, I observed --

1. “will convene at 10:30” actually means “will take role once at 10:50 and again at 11 and still say we convened at 10:30 and then introduce a visiting kindergarten class and give someone a plaque and hear a few symbolic resolutions and then break for coffee by 11:45.”
2. Those absent had other representatives asking them to be excused. Like high school when another kid faked a dentist note for you, except representatives don’t need to give an excuse because they are the government.
3. Phones at their desks. One rep gets a call. Laughs, says a few quick words, puts down the phone. Makes a face at another rep across the aisle, who is apparently the caller, because he makes a face back. They clearly have an elaborate inside joke.
4. One very awkward co-ed legislator hug. Like, you could see them calculating exactly how to articulate their joints through the entire process, including precise number of back-pats before withdrawing.
5. One of the reporters who clearly is there often because he has his own seat at the table (I’m guessing Jason Stein) has the same style of notebook that I prefer. Steno rules, guys, because it’s small enough that you can hold it steady while writing standing up, as well as turn pages pretty quickly, AND it fits in my shoulder bag, but it's still big enough that you can fit lots of meeting notes onto each page if you happen to be lucky enough to be writing sitting down. The only downside is you can’t fit it in a back pocket like the "reporter's notebook" style. Yeah, this is boring.