I only said one terribly awkward thing in front of family this year, so I am calling this Christmas a success. I also called my sister "fast and easy," but I was talking about her birth as described by my mother, so I don't feel awkward about that. I was "fast but not easy." I like this phrase.

We cleaned my mom's house today and played the Beatles really loud, a holiday tradition as of 2009, and after re-discovering a high-quality record player, the 9 symphonies of Beethoven and the War of the Worlds on vinyl, and a lot of sentimental old books that date back to at least my mom's childhood (I wish I'd brought my camera), my dust allergy is apparently worse than I thought. I am about to take a Benadryl and go to sleep, no doubt snoring wetly all night.